I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
