some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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