Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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