NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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