Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I wear drunk well.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
