Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
