Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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