Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
