Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
