I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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