I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
