i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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