i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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