Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
