your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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