Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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