theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
