if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
