i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
