Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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