I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
