just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he was CRYING into my vagina
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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