no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
