His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
