I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
