please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
