dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
