I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
