so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
