I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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