your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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