Dual....:-)
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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