I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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