Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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