I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He is an equal opportunity slut.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
