remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize