I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
