i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
