singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
