Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize