I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We are all done wearing pants today
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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