I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
