U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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