Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
