i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
