how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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