Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize