just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
