D3 body, D1 cock
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
