There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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