and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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