dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
