I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
