can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
