i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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