Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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