thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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