I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
