omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
